Yummm..,

Current Financial Crisis - Nice Quote

"What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of myCheques is returned stamped

"insufficient funds",

I won't know whether

That refers to mine ............ ..or the bank's!"????

Smart Student!

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.
It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don´t think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.
*******

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don´t know maths.

Ted: You don´t know my father!
*******

Why are men and women so different?

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

Funny Marriage Quotes

Here r some funny Quotes on Marriage :)

“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.”

-H.V. Prochnow

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.” -Minnie Pearl

“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.”

-H.L. Mencken

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." -Groucho Marx

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” -Katharine Hepburn

Some Cool Facts

1)In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

2)On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.


3)Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.


4)Stewardesses are the longest word typed with only the left hand.


5)The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


6)The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


7)The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.


8)Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.


9)Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.


10)The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.


11)Most lipstick contains fish scales.


12)Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different


13)There is a Butterfly in Brazil which has the color of chocolates and also smells like Chocolate.

14)Giraffee can clean there ears with their tongue.

15)Both Humans and Giraffee have the same number of bones in the neck.


Source:Internet

True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
----------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
---------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of ! the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
---------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
-------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: No.
-------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over ! 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Sorry......Wrong number

A guy dials home from work. A strange woman answers.

GUY: "Who is this?"

MAID: "This is the maid."
GUY: "We don't have a maid!"
MAID: "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
GUY: "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
MAID: "Ummm..... she's upstairs with someone whom I just figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming.

GUY: " Listen, would you like to make 50,000 bucks?"
MAID: "What do I have to do?"
GUY: "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that lady and the jerk she is with."

The maid puts down the phone.

The guy hears the footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone.

MAID: "What should I do with the bodies?"
GUY: "Throw them in the swimming pool!"
Maid: "What? But there's no pool here!"

Long pause.........................

GUY: "Uh.. Is this 8324825?"

MAID: "No."
GUY: "Oh.. Sorry......Wrong number.."

:-))

A NEEDLE CAN SAVE THE LIFE OF A STROKE PATIENT

Dear Friends,
You may have received this information before but nevertheless, it is good to know.....
Keep a syringe or needle in your home to do this... It's amazing and an unconventional way of recovering from stroke, read it through it can help somebody one day.

This is amazing. Please keep this very handy... Excellent tips. Do take a minute to read this. You'll never know. One's life may depend on you.


When a stroke occurs, stay calm.
No matter where the victim is,do not move him/her. Because, if moved, the capillaries will burst. Help the victim to sit up where he is to prevent him from falling over again, and then the bloodletting can begin. If you have in your home an injection syringe that would be the best, otherwise, a sewing needle or a straight pin will do.

1. Place the needle/pin over fire to sterilize it, and then use it to prick the tip of all 10 fingers.

2. There are no specific acupuncture points, just prick about a mm from the fingernail.

3. Prick till blood comes out.

4. If blood does not start to drip, then squeeze with your fingers.

5. When all 10 digits is bleeding,wait a few minutes then the victim will regain consciousness.

6. If the victim's mouth is crooked, then pull on his ears until they are red.

7. Then prick each ear lobe twice until two drops of blood comes from each ear lobe. After a few minutes the victim should regain consciousness.


Wait till the victim regain his normal state without any abnormal symptoms then take him to the hospital, otherwise, if he was taken in the ambulance in a hurry to the hospital, the bumpy trip will cause all the capillaries in his brain to burst.

Hyderabad unplug

Climate change due to global warming is one of the most critical challenges faced by humanity today. Countries like India , Bangladesh and island countries, because of their location and inability to adapt, will be worst affected. Human activities are releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, causing global warming, resulting in rising sea levels, an increase in drought, severe storms and massive changes to the environment we all rely on to survive. Climate crisis has a wide range of negative effects on the land use, land-cover, ground water, agriculture, food production, natural ecosystems and erosion of coastal zones.

Although people consider global warming as a serious problem, they do not clearly understand its causes, impacts and solutions. It's important we tailor awareness initiatives highlighting seriousness of global warming and the measures that can be taken at the individual level.

As an effort in this direction, the event 'Hyderabad Unplug', supported by WWF - India , urges Hyderabad citizens to switch off lights and electrical appliances for an hour on May 3, 2008 from 7.30 to 8.30 pm. as an expression of solidarity to the fight against global warming.



This event shows that, together, our small actions can make a difference in the fight against climate change. By switching off the lights for one hour on May 03, individuals, businesses and households in Hyderabad will demonstrate a collective concern about climate change and accept responsibility to reduce the impact of global warming in the long run.

Hyderabad Unplug also strives to educate the citizens of Hyderabad ; especially the households, that judicious use of electricity will not only reduce the impact of global warming, but also promote equitable power distribution for rural areas.

Source:http://hyderabadunplug.com/

Give Ur support to the event,

i am switching off lights and electrical appliances for an hour on May 3, 2008 from 7.30 to 8.30 pm.

what about u???

The girls are such mysterious living creatures

The girls are such mysterious living creatures of the Mighty God that........ ...

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are Flirting with her;

If u Don't, she says u are Rude.

If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to Impress her;

If you Don't, she says u are from Timbuktu .

If u ARGUE with her, she says u don’t understand her ;

If u keep QUIET, Even then she says u don’t understand her ;

If u are SMARTER than her, (which is the case always) She says its because she is with you;

If she's Smarter than u, (Exceptional cases) she thinks she is GREAT.

If u don't Love her, she will be jealous and after u;

If u Love her, She won't even look at u and fly high.

If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are Timid;

If u Don't, she'll be a problem for uIf u talk for an hour u r a bore.

If she does it she is cheerfulIf u SCOLD her, u are hurting her feelings;

If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If she BREAKS her, she had a REAL problem.

If u do WELL in your Exams, she says it's LUCK;

If she does Well, she worked real hard.

If u HURT her, u are CRUEL and don't have any heart;

If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE! !

Gals are in fact so unreasonable & difficult to understand,

that even god doesn't know what women want THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST if you send this to girls, they will say "sick mail" but if you don't, they say that must be something dirty....

source:http://www.kudlabluez.blogspot. com

Amazing Facts

Some Intresting and Amazing facts

----------------------------------------

1)February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

2)Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system.

3) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

4) Tomato Ketchup was once used as medicine in the United States. Was sold as "Dr.Miles Compound Extract of Tomato".

5) The quartz crystal in your wristwatch vibrates 32,768 times a second.

6) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.

7) During World War II, twice as many fighter pilots were killed during training than combat.

8) A nautical mile measures 6,080 feet while a land or statute mile is 5,280 feet.

9) No one can drown in the Dead Sea. It is 25 percent salt, which makes the water very heavy.

10) Earth's oceans contain 7 1/2 million tons of gold, dissolved in the water.

11) If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

12) Communications giant Nokia was founded in 1865 as a wood-pulp mill by Fredrik Idestam.

13)Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

14)People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.

15)Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

16)Astronauts can't belch- there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

17)Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.

18)The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

19) Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.

20)The night of January 20 is "Saint Agnes's Eve," which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.

21)There are over 25 million bubbles waiting to burst out of each bottle of Champagne.

22)Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

23)It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

24) Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.

25)Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

more to come....

One Of The Best Lyrics ,

One Of The Best Lyrics, for the film jalsa,

belive me,

read it to belive it,

asaluu aa last 2 lines were just "SUPER".

Famous Failures

To succeed in business or life we must continually take remedial actions. Putting yourself on the line day after day can be extremely draining, especially when things do not work out as desired. Hence, each time a disappointing event happens, I like to get reminded of these famous failures:

1)Bill Gates founder and chairman of Microsoft, has literally changed the work culture of the world in the 21st century, by simplifying the way computer is being used. He was the world's richest man for more than one decade. However, in the 1970's before starting out, he was a Harvard University dropout. The most ironic part is that, he started a software company (that was soon to become Microsoft) by purchasing the software technology from "someone" for only $US50 back then.

2)Abraham Lincoln received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime. When he grew up, he joined politics and had 12 major failures before he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America .

3)Isaac Newton was the greatest English mathematician of his generation. His work on optics and gravitation made him one of the greatest scientists the world has even known. Many thought that Isaac was born a genius, but he wasn't! When he was young, he did very poorly in grade school, so poor that his teachers became clueless in improving his grades.

4)Ludwig van Beethoven, a German composer of classical music, is widely regarded as one of history's supreme composers. His reputation has inspired ? and in many cases intimidated ? composers, musicians and audiences who were to come after him. Before the start of his career, Beethoven's music teacher once said of him "as a composer, he is hopeless". And during his career, he lost his hearing yet he managed to produce great music ? a deaf man composing music, ironic isn't!

5)Thomas Edison who developed many devices that greatly influenced life in the 20th century. Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S patents to his name. When he was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own, he tried more than 9,000 experiments before he created the first successful light bulb.

6)The Woolworth Company was a retail company that was one of the original five-and-ten- cent stores. The first Woolworth's store was founded in 1878 by Frank Winfield Woolworth and soon grew to become one of the largest retail chains in the world in the 20th century. Before starting his own business, Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21. But his employer would not let him serve any customer because he concluded that Frank "didn't have enough common sense to serve the customers".


7)By acclamation, Michael Jordon is the greatest basketball player of all time. A phenomenal athlete with a unique combination of grace, speed, power, artistry, improvisational ability and an unquenchable competitive desire. Jordan single-handedly redefined the NBA superstar. Before joining NBA, Jordan was just an ordinary person, so ordinary that was he was removed from the high school basketball team because of his "lack of skill".

8)Walter Disney was American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor and animator. One of the most well-known motion picture producers in the world, Disney founded a production company. The corporation, now known as The Walt Disney Company, makes average revenue of US $30 billion annually. Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. During his first press conference, a newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas in film production.

9)Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade. However, that never stopped him to work harder! He strived and eventually became the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the Second World War. Churchill is generally regarded as one of the most important leaders in Britain and world history. In a poll conducted by the BBC in 2002 to identify the "100 Greatest Britons", participants voted Churchill as the most important of all.

10)Steven Spielberg is an American film director. He has won 3 Academy Awards and ranks among the most successful filmmakers in history. Most of all, Steven was recognized as the financially most successful motion picture director of all time. During his childhood, Spielberg dropped out of junior high school. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning-disabled class. He only lasted a month and then dropped out of school forever.

11)Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist widely regarded as the most important scientist of the 20th century. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect in 1905 and "for his services to Theoretical Physics". However, when Einstein was young, his parents thought he was mentally retarded. His grades in school were so poor that a teacher asked him to quit, saying, "Einstein, you will never amount to anything!"

12)In 1947, one year into her contract, Marilyn Monroe was dropped by 20th Century-Fox because her producer thought she was unattractive and could not act. That didn't deter her at all! She kept on going and eventually she was recognized by the public as the 20th century's most famous movie star, sex symbol and pop icon.

13)John Grisham's first novel was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses. He went on writing and writing until he became best known as a novelist and author for his works of modern legal drama. The media has coined him as one of the best novel authors even alive in the 21st century.

14)Henry Ford's first two automobile companies failed. That did not stop him from incorporating Ford Motor Company and being the first to apply assembly line manufacturing to the production of affordable automobiles in the world. He not only revolutionized industrial production in the United States and Europe , but also had such influence over the 20th century economy and society. His combination of mass production, high wages and low prices to consumers has initiated a management school known as "Fordism". He became one of the three most famous and richest men in the world during his time.

15)Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview as "engineer" after World War Two. He continued to be jobless until his neighbours starting buying his "home-made scooters". Subsequently, he set out on his own to start his own company. Honda. Today, the Company has grown to become the world's largest motorcycle manufacturer and one of the most profitable automakers - beating giant automaker such as GM and Chrysler. With a global network of 437 subsidiaries, Honda develops, manufactures and markets a wide variety of products ranging from small general-purpose engines and scooters to specialty sports cars.

16)Akio Morita, founder of giant electric household products, Sony Corporation, first product was an electric rice cooker, only sold 100 cookers (because it burned rice rather than cooking). Today, Sony generates US$66 billion in revenue and ranked as the world's 6th largest electronic and electrical company.

ATTITUDE

An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.
I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
---
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral: NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS.. NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS...

What's the problem, darling?

A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchens.
When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more importantly, is very upset about something.

"What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?"
"It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and it worked!"

"Then what's the matter? Were there a lot of bugs in it?"
"I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it worked perfectly!"

"So what's wrong?"
"I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for a few minutes."
"Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wife inquired.
"No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key."

:-))

The Mushroom Effect!!

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."