Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
----------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
---------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of ! the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
---------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
-------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: No.
-------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over ! 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sorry......Wrong number
A guy dials home from work. A strange woman answers.
GUY: "Who is this?"
MAID: "This is the maid."
GUY: "We don't have a maid!"
MAID: "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
GUY: "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
MAID: "Ummm..... she's upstairs with someone whom I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
GUY: " Listen, would you like to make 50,000 bucks?"
MAID: "What do I have to do?"
GUY: "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that lady and the jerk she is with."
The maid puts down the phone.
The guy hears the footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone.
MAID: "What should I do with the bodies?"
GUY: "Throw them in the swimming pool!"
Maid: "What? But there's no pool here!"
Long pause.........................
GUY: "Uh.. Is this 8324825?"
MAID: "No."
GUY: "Oh.. Sorry......Wrong number.."
:-))
GUY: "Who is this?"
MAID: "This is the maid."
GUY: "We don't have a maid!"
MAID: "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
GUY: "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
MAID: "Ummm..... she's upstairs with someone whom I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
GUY: " Listen, would you like to make 50,000 bucks?"
MAID: "What do I have to do?"
GUY: "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that lady and the jerk she is with."
The maid puts down the phone.
The guy hears the footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone.
MAID: "What should I do with the bodies?"
GUY: "Throw them in the swimming pool!"
Maid: "What? But there's no pool here!"
Long pause.........................
GUY: "Uh.. Is this 8324825?"
MAID: "No."
GUY: "Oh.. Sorry......Wrong number.."
:-))
A NEEDLE CAN SAVE THE LIFE OF A STROKE PATIENT
Dear Friends,
You may have received this information before but nevertheless, it is good to know.....
Keep a syringe or needle in your home to do this... It's amazing and an unconventional way of recovering from stroke, read it through it can help somebody one day.
This is amazing. Please keep this very handy... Excellent tips. Do take a minute to read this. You'll never know. One's life may depend on you.
When a stroke occurs, stay calm.
No matter where the victim is,do not move him/her. Because, if moved, the capillaries will burst. Help the victim to sit up where he is to prevent him from falling over again, and then the bloodletting can begin. If you have in your home an injection syringe that would be the best, otherwise, a sewing needle or a straight pin will do.
1. Place the needle/pin over fire to sterilize it, and then use it to prick the tip of all 10 fingers.
2. There are no specific acupuncture points, just prick about a mm from the fingernail.
3. Prick till blood comes out.
4. If blood does not start to drip, then squeeze with your fingers.
5. When all 10 digits is bleeding,wait a few minutes then the victim will regain consciousness.
6. If the victim's mouth is crooked, then pull on his ears until they are red.
7. Then prick each ear lobe twice until two drops of blood comes from each ear lobe. After a few minutes the victim should regain consciousness.
Wait till the victim regain his normal state without any abnormal symptoms then take him to the hospital, otherwise, if he was taken in the ambulance in a hurry to the hospital, the bumpy trip will cause all the capillaries in his brain to burst.
You may have received this information before but nevertheless, it is good to know.....
Keep a syringe or needle in your home to do this... It's amazing and an unconventional way of recovering from stroke, read it through it can help somebody one day.
This is amazing. Please keep this very handy... Excellent tips. Do take a minute to read this. You'll never know. One's life may depend on you.
When a stroke occurs, stay calm.
No matter where the victim is,do not move him/her. Because, if moved, the capillaries will burst. Help the victim to sit up where he is to prevent him from falling over again, and then the bloodletting can begin. If you have in your home an injection syringe that would be the best, otherwise, a sewing needle or a straight pin will do.
1. Place the needle/pin over fire to sterilize it, and then use it to prick the tip of all 10 fingers.
2. There are no specific acupuncture points, just prick about a mm from the fingernail.
3. Prick till blood comes out.
4. If blood does not start to drip, then squeeze with your fingers.
5. When all 10 digits is bleeding,wait a few minutes then the victim will regain consciousness.
6. If the victim's mouth is crooked, then pull on his ears until they are red.
7. Then prick each ear lobe twice until two drops of blood comes from each ear lobe. After a few minutes the victim should regain consciousness.
Wait till the victim regain his normal state without any abnormal symptoms then take him to the hospital, otherwise, if he was taken in the ambulance in a hurry to the hospital, the bumpy trip will cause all the capillaries in his brain to burst.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Hyderabad unplug
Climate change due to global warming is one of the most critical challenges faced by humanity today. Countries like India , Bangladesh and island countries, because of their location and inability to adapt, will be worst affected. Human activities are releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, causing global warming, resulting in rising sea levels, an increase in drought, severe storms and massive changes to the environment we all rely on to survive. Climate crisis has a wide range of negative effects on the land use, land-cover, ground water, agriculture, food production, natural ecosystems and erosion of coastal zones.
Although people consider global warming as a serious problem, they do not clearly understand its causes, impacts and solutions. It's important we tailor awareness initiatives highlighting seriousness of global warming and the measures that can be taken at the individual level.
As an effort in this direction, the event 'Hyderabad Unplug', supported by WWF - India , urges Hyderabad citizens to switch off lights and electrical appliances for an hour on May 3, 2008 from 7.30 to 8.30 pm. as an expression of solidarity to the fight against global warming.
This event shows that, together, our small actions can make a difference in the fight against climate change. By switching off the lights for one hour on May 03, individuals, businesses and households in Hyderabad will demonstrate a collective concern about climate change and accept responsibility to reduce the impact of global warming in the long run.
Hyderabad Unplug also strives to educate the citizens of Hyderabad ; especially the households, that judicious use of electricity will not only reduce the impact of global warming, but also promote equitable power distribution for rural areas.
Although people consider global warming as a serious problem, they do not clearly understand its causes, impacts and solutions. It's important we tailor awareness initiatives highlighting seriousness of global warming and the measures that can be taken at the individual level.
As an effort in this direction, the event 'Hyderabad Unplug', supported by WWF - India , urges Hyderabad citizens to switch off lights and electrical appliances for an hour on May 3, 2008 from 7.30 to 8.30 pm. as an expression of solidarity to the fight against global warming.
This event shows that, together, our small actions can make a difference in the fight against climate change. By switching off the lights for one hour on May 03, individuals, businesses and households in Hyderabad will demonstrate a collective concern about climate change and accept responsibility to reduce the impact of global warming in the long run.
Hyderabad Unplug also strives to educate the citizens of Hyderabad ; especially the households, that judicious use of electricity will not only reduce the impact of global warming, but also promote equitable power distribution for rural areas.
Source:http://hyderabadunplug.com/
Give Ur support to the event,
i am switching off lights and electrical appliances for an hour on May 3, 2008 from 7.30 to 8.30 pm.
what about u???
Friday, April 11, 2008
The girls are such mysterious living creatures
The girls are such mysterious living creatures of the Mighty God that........ ...
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are Flirting with her;
If u Don't, she says u are Rude.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to Impress her;
If you Don't, she says u are from Timbuktu .
If u ARGUE with her, she says u don’t understand her ;
If u keep QUIET, Even then she says u don’t understand her ;
If u are SMARTER than her, (which is the case always) She says its because she is with you;
If she's Smarter than u, (Exceptional cases) she thinks she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she will be jealous and after u;
If u Love her, She won't even look at u and fly high.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are Timid;
If u Don't, she'll be a problem for uIf u talk for an hour u r a bore.
If she does it she is cheerfulIf u SCOLD her, u are hurting her feelings;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS her, she had a REAL problem.
If u do WELL in your Exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does Well, she worked real hard.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL and don't have any heart;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE! !
Gals are in fact so unreasonable & difficult to understand,
that even god doesn't know what women want THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST if you send this to girls, they will say "sick mail" but if you don't, they say that must be something dirty....
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Amazing Facts
Some Intresting and Amazing facts
----------------------------------------
1)February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
2)Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system.
3) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
4) Tomato Ketchup was once used as medicine in the United States. Was sold as "Dr.Miles Compound Extract of Tomato".
5) The quartz crystal in your wristwatch vibrates 32,768 times a second.
6) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
7) During World War II, twice as many fighter pilots were killed during training than combat.
8) A nautical mile measures 6,080 feet while a land or statute mile is 5,280 feet.
9) No one can drown in the Dead Sea. It is 25 percent salt, which makes the water very heavy.
10) Earth's oceans contain 7 1/2 million tons of gold, dissolved in the water.
11) If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.
12) Communications giant Nokia was founded in 1865 as a wood-pulp mill by Fredrik Idestam.
13)Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!
14)People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.
15)Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
16)Astronauts can't belch- there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
17)Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.
18)The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
19) Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.
20)The night of January 20 is "Saint Agnes's Eve," which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.
21)There are over 25 million bubbles waiting to burst out of each bottle of Champagne.
22)Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
23)It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
24) Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.
25)Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
more to come....
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